I apologize for the lackluster review but I returned from the midnight screening of Spider-Man 3 at 3am, so I haven’t slept much. Then again, you can say that the weakness of the review I’m about to write is completely indicative of the quality of the latest installment of the Spider-Man franchise. Somebody go buy me a cup of coffee, and while you’re at it, buy Sam Raimi a screenplay.

In an effort to be positive, Spider-Man 3 is a funny movie. I laughed when Tobey Maguire danced in the street, I laughed when the characters would make witty remarks, but sadly, I also laughed when Sam Raimi tried to make his movie melodramatic. Romance and drama trumped action and intensity in the film, making it not only dragging and tiresome, but ultimately laughable.

The Sandman is a fundamentally weak villain, we only see Venom for less than 20 minutes, and even bad Spidey is more annoying than aggressive. Sam Raimi was more interested in making sure Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn all love each other rather than giving us what we all lined up to see: a superhero movie. Spider-Man 3 features an ending that is more long-winded and drawn out than that of Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, and is more musical-comedy than action-adventure. In essence, a bore. I should have used my time to sleep.