I once broke a man’s nose. On purpose.
Several years ago, a friend of mine called me, crying. Her boyfriend had been hitting her for the past few days, and it was getting worse.
I didn’t think to talk her through this, or call a social worker or a helpline. Instead, I took the brash decision to drive to her place at her university, pick her up, grab all her stuff out of the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, and bring her back to her family home. Along the way, I also — stupidly — decided to punch her boyfriend in the face. Very hard. Twice.
He didn’t press charges. Good.
She went back to him. Not so good.
They’ve separated ways now (thank god) but I always thought that if I had handled the situation differently, maybe she wouldn’t have had the urge to go back into the abusive relationship. Maybe if I hadn’t responded to his violence and quick temper with violence and quick temper of my own, she would have understood that she had better options than to return to a man that hit her.
Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
This story may make a lot of you think less of me. I can understand that. I’m not proud of myself for what I did.
I’m sharing this personal story today because today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, a day that should be on the consciousness of every person that I know.
Ending the circle of violence is extremely important to me. Hopefully, it’s important to you too. If it is, please check out the Say NO – UNiTE to End Violence against Women initiative launched by the United Nations, and subscribe to the Change.org Women’s Rights blog for more information about campaigns and initiatives that will help make a difference.
And make sure you tell the special, important women in your life that you love them, today and every day. The first step towards ending violence, I say, is by embracing love.
It might sound hokey, but it works.
(You can watch the full Press Conference on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women over on this Youtube channel.)
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sameer Vasta and Matt Brown, Emily Rauhala. Emily Rauhala said: RTtederick RT@tederick RT@vasta: Today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. http://is.gd/53zKd […]
How you handled the situation had nothing to do with her subsequent actions. She’d have done it regardless, and he was a piece of shit regardless. I don’t blame you and he deserved way more than a nose breaking. I think you showed restraint. You SHOULD be proud for what you did. You helped a friend by pulling her out of the situation and you gave him a small taste of how abuse feels. She chose not to help herself.
Welcome back story-teller!